Toastmasters – Speech #5

My son Jordan is 11 years old. He is a good looking boy with blond hair and blue eyes, tall and slender. Just like his mom (laughs). On the outset, Jordan looks normal. He is a Boy Scout who loves swimming and archery. When Jordan entered Kindergarten, I enlightened his teacher about Jordan’s special knowledge of science, and that it would be helpful if she assigned him some additional work to keep his attention.

Well, Kindergarten went well. Then came first grade, second grade, third grade. Jordan had a hard time keeping focused and staying organized, and couldn’t remember to bring home his homework. He was easily confused and didn’t seem to understand abstract concepts. I was beginning to think there was something wrong, but I chalked it up to defiance. But no amount of punishment seemed to faze him. Then one teacher expressed her desire to have him evaluated for the special education program. What? My child in special ed? No, it is a discipline problem, not a special ed problem.

I reluctantly agreed, and Jordan was tested. The tests indicated that Jordan was not performing at his capabilities. This I knew. But what was surprising was that Jordan’s IQ was 124. I was astonished. See, subconsciously, I had come to the conclusion that Jordan wasn’t as “above average” as I had thought he was. Wow, 124 - fantastic! I asked the evaluator what she thought was the cause of his problems. In turn, I was asked a series of questions: “Does Jordan prefer to play by himself and with a favorite toy over and over? Does Jordan like to have a schedule and doesn’t like to stray from that schedule? Does Jordan have limited emotions, limited facial expressions? Does Jordan have repetitive tendencies? Does Jordan seem to be in his own world.” My answers to all her questions was “Yes, Yes, Yes!” I said how did you know all these things, what are you thinking here? She only answered, “Oh, I’ve just seen some of these same things in other children.”

I was told later by Jordan’s special ed teacher that she thought he had Attention Deficit Disorder. I did some research that confirmed that Jordan did not fit the ADD diagnostic criteria because he did not fit two of the three criteria. But in fact, he fit the criteria of an Autism Spectrum Disorder called Asperger’s Syndrome. Disorder? Syndrome? My child has a Syndrome? I thought if he does, then that’s the answer. I can help him then. I printed off the DSM IV criteria and asked Jordan’s special ed teacher if she sees some of these traits. Her response was that legally, teachers cannot diagnose a child. But she went further to say that she continues to think he has ADD and I should get some medication.

Of course this fueled my fire to find the answer. I scheduled an appointment with Jordan’s pediatrician who had him pretend to kick a ball and asked him a couple of questions and said “He’s perfectly fine,” and sent us on our way.

I continued to research. I kept coming back to this Autism Spectrum Disorder, or more specifically, Asperger Syndrome. I felt the criteria fit perfectly. I made an appointment with a pediatric neurologist. Her initial diagnosis confirmed my suspicion - Autism Spectrum Disorder, probably Asperger’s Syndrome. Disorder? Syndrome? My child has a Syndrome! I was happy because there was the answer.

Since then, Jordan has been through extensive tests, speech evaluations, etc. We are not there yet, but getting there.

So looking back, it has taken two years from the time the school’s evaluator hinted at Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome, till the time he has been officially diagnosed.

Why did it take two years? Why didn’t someone tell me this before? I am now embarking on a journey I didn’t ask for. A journey destined to helping my son become the best he can be with this disability. A journey also taken by the mother’s of Einstein & Newton, Beethoven & Mozart, Edison & Ford, even Bill Gates - all famous thinkers with traits consistent with Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome.

Einstein was a slow, thoughtful talker who would also softly repeat sentences to himself until he was seven. His teachers found him disruptive in the classroom and in third grade his mother was told to take him out of school because he was not able to learn. Later in life he was a notoriously confusing lecturer. While he had friendships, he is said to have found small talk difficult.

Newton cut an even more eccentric figure than Einstein. According to contemporary accounts, he barely spoke, became so engrossed in his work that he often forgot to eat, and was said to be grumpy with his friends.

People with Asperger syndrome are often of average or above average intelligence. They are obsessive about deeply-held interest, immersing themselves in that one subject. When involved in conversations, they typically lead the topic to their special interest even if the other person is not interested. They find it hard to work out what others are thinking and feeling, making social situations confusing. Often they do things in inflexible and repetitive ways and have problems making friends.

These traits are all typical of my son. If asked, he will tell you the details of a particular conversation he heard, but cannot carry on a conversation himself. He has to tell me goodnight exactly three times. He cannot tie his shoes, but he can build elaborate working structures from K’Nex and has even designed a waffle-cutter and submitted to Kellogg’s. He can tell you the current pollen count for Huntsville, and would be proud to show you his extensive collection of rocks including trilobites, crinoids, petrified fish, meteors, and gems and minerals.

I am sure my son will make a fine engineer or scientist, but I’ll probably have to drive him to work.